Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst

Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst

The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and matchups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.

Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all the NFL.

This week, the 5-3 Dolphins are set to play the Detroit Lions on Sunday at Ford Field.

See also: Nine Reasons Green Bay Packers Fans Are the Worst

Here are seven reasons why their fans are the worst:

7. They Cheer for Ndamukong Suh

Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh is regarded as a very aggressive player. That's just another way of saying Ndamukong Suh is a major asshole. Thus far in his four-year career, Suh has wracked up a total of $216,875 in fines from the NFL for being a total prick on the football field.

Here's a quick rundown of the crap Suh has pulled since being drafted in 2010: - In 2011, during a Thanksgiving Day game, after a play was over, Suh pushed Green Bay offensive lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith's head into the ground three times. Oh, but he wasn't done there. After shoving Dietrich-Smith's head into the turf, Suh then stomped on his arm. Suh's explanation was that he lost his balance.

- In 2012, during a game against Houston, Suh kicked Texans' quarterback Matt Shaub in the groin. "Anytime you see a play like that, you want to say, 'Why did it happen?'" said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell at the time. Suh was fined 30 grand for the kick.

- In 2013, Suh cut-blocked a player from the Vikings after the Lions intercepted the ball. He was fined $100, 000.

Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst
George Martinez

6. They Cheer for a Team Without Cheerleaders Seriously. The Detroit Lions don't have cheerleaders. What the hell is that about?

Of course, it is Detroit. So finding some attractive ladies who can dance might be tough, but still. Figure something out, Detroit. You need something to entertain you when your team is down 45 at the half and to get your mind off all the urban decay and bitter winters outside Ford Field.


Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst
Via Wikimedia Commons

5. They Support a Team That Is Fleecing Their City The City of Detroit is broke. The local economy has imploded, and the city has been in dire straits in the past few years. Yet, even with things being as bleak as they are, the Detroit Lions franchise -- which is owned by the great-grandchildren of Henry Ford -- had the city build Ford Field in 2002 with public money. The total cost of the stadium was $430 million, with almost 40 percent of that coming from tourist tax payments from Detroit.

Yet Lions fans still show up to games and pay for tickets, beer, nachos, merchandise, and parking, then have to drive through the decay that has become their city after the game. Also, crime rates there are still at an all-time high. But hey, the stadium's got a dome. So there's that.

Seven Reasons Detroit Lions Fans Are the Worst
James Anderson via Wikimedia Commons

4. They Protested When Nickleback Was Chosen to Play During a Halftime Show at One of Their Games Yup...

Wait. That's actually a good thing.

Nice job, Lions fans.

3. They Tried to Blind an Opposing Player With a Laser Just last month, a Lions fan brought a laser pointer to a game against the Buffalo Bills and decided to point it at an opposing player during the game.

Every time Bills kicker (and former Dolphin) Dan Carpenter attempted a field goal, the fan would point the laser directly into his eyes.

Even dumber than this, the fan bragged about his douchey behavior on Twitter. That's actually how he got caught by authorities. He was banned from Ford Field.

2. Because They Get Into Drunken Fights With Each Other
1. Because of Whatever This IsBlue and silver blue and silver blue and silver......

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