^
Keep New Times Free
4

Florida Man Shoots "Buttwater" in the Funniest Video You'll See Today

His name is Vulture. And he has the most incredible party trick this side of that one guy who could turn water into wine.

It's called "buttwater," and while entirely infantile and moronic, this is just about the coolest and funniest thing we've seen in a looooong time.

Update: YouTube removed the original buttwater video because it evidently violated its sexual content policy, so here's a new link:

Though the video went up yesterday on YouTube, it has apparently been 15 years in the making. At college parties in and around Orlando, a man -- who now wants to go only by Vulture -- discovered a quasi-miracle. If he put a hose up his bum, he could shoot the water back out like a deranged geyser.

Was there risk involved? Of course.

But was it worth it? It was.

Luckily, Vice has already gotten the dirty on this guy. He told the magazine yesterday he started doing the trick for 15 to 20 people, but then word quickly spread of buttwater. This was a secret ability no man could keep. "Buttwater had [become a staple] at parties in Orlando," Vulture contends.

People would come "from miles" across Florida to discover what all the hoopla over buttwater was about. Vulture confessed he was surprised at what a diverse crowd buttwater could assemble.

It's "probably because their lives are boring," he said. "And they don't get to see things like buttwater."

Then again, who does?

Despite its obvious appeal, Vulture is understandably concerned that his face and name will be attached to buttwater. So whenever performing the trick, he wears a wolf mask and has strict directions: no cameras. Which explains how this has been kept a secret for so long.

"I was on very strict orders never to let this video leave my phone," Lauren Chilcote, originally from Fort Walton Beach, wrote on Facebook, referencing the above video. "But the secret's out. BUTTWATER. Yes, it's exactly what you think it is, and it's incredible."

Brian Schanck of Clearwater, who attended the party the day Chilcote shot the video, remembers buttwater well. "That day goes down in history," he recalled on Facebook. "I almost fell over laughing. Probably one of the funniest days of my life."

So there you have it, internet. You're welcome.

Follow Terrence McCoy on Twitter



I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.