Sports

Six Reasons Dan Marino Should Be Named the Miami Dolphins New Head Coach

Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has always tried to look forward when it comes to his football team. Yet he's very much been about aesthetic more than substance. Starting with the orange carpet and selling team stakes to C-list celebrities, all the the way through to those revolting new pseudo-pastiche uniforms and logo fans are now forced to stare at every Sunday -- Ross has forgotten what made the past Dolphins teams so great.

And now, following the Dolphins once again falling apart in December and failing to reach the playoffs, come rumors that current head coach Joe Philbin's days are numbered.

The favorite to land his spot remains the 49ers' Jim Harbaugh. But why keep trying to make a splash with the "big name coach" when the solution is right in our presence already?

Why not just hand the reigns to the greatest Dolphin of all and let him whip this franchise into shape?

We say Ross should name Dan Marino the new head coach of the Miami Dolphins so that the Fins can get back to being pure unadulterated badass, as opposed to what they currently are -- pure unadulterated ass.

Here are six reasons why Marino should become the new head coach:

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph