Ten Reasons Baltimore Ravens Fans Are the Worst

The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.

Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all of the NFL.

This week, the 7-5 Dolphins are set to play the Baltimore Ravens at SunLife Stadium.

Here are ten reasons their fans are the worst:

See also: Nine Reasons New York Jets Fans Are the Worst

10. Because They Vehemently Defend Ray Rice

Ray Rice is the face of the NFL's ongoing appalling problem with domestic violence. He was caught on video punching his fiancee (now wife) and then dragging her on the ground, like a caveman. In their desperate attempt to save face and distance themselves from the horribleness, the NFL suspended Rice, and the Ravens cut him from the team. Yet there are countless Ravens fans -- many of them women -- who still defend Rice.

"We shouldn't be involved in their personal life," one lady said.

"I absolutely 100 percent support him," another said. "It had nothing to do with his job. I think he's an awesome guy, I think he's an upstanding guy, and I think he's an awesome football player."

When the Ravens released Rice, fans planted signs at the team facility that read things like, "Stop!!! Casting stones we all make mistakes!"

This is, of course, the same fan base that defended Ray Lewis' being connected to a murder, so it shouldn't be a shock. But while the Lewis case was dismissed against him after he agreed to rat out his friends and remains ambiguous, there's no doubting what Rice did. He was caught on video. AND he admitted it.

But Ravens fans will hold on to defending him with a gargantuan, tight-fisted grip.

9. Because They Wear Purple Camo Pants This is a thing Ravens fan consciously decide to do on Sundays. Also probably on casual Fridays at their job. And when they're mowing the lawn. Basically, anytime they don't have to wear regular pants. Or jorts.

8. Because They Can't Stop Whining About a Perceived Lack of Respect The Ravens have won two Super Bowls in their brief existence and usually get good grades for their sound drafting and solid coaching from the media and the football-watching community at large. Yet Ravens fans won't shut their stupid faceholes over how they don't get enough respect. "Why does everyone talk about the Patriots or Seahawks or Colts BUT NEVER US WAHHHH?" they'll whine.

Basically because your team is routinely one of the least exciting teams in the league, you purple-camo-pant-wearing mongoloids. The Patriots are exciting! They score touchdowns a lot! Your team is known for its 16-13 scores every single week. No one outside of your urban postapocalyptic decaying city ever says "WHOA HOT DAMN I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH THE RAVENS PLAY THIS SUNDAY!" Know why? Because your team is an abomination to the game of football. Shitloads of field goals and the occasional catch from a slow unknown tight end is not what makes for exciting football.

Two Super Bowls, man. Be happy with that and stop worrying about what others think about you, you insecure eggplant-looking dipshits.

7. Because They Hate Joe Flacco but Get Super Pissed at You If You Dare Say Anything Bad About Him There isn't a fan base out there that detests their Super Bowl-winning quarterback more than Ravens fans. Go to any fan site or messageboard and you'll find nothing but complaints over Flacco and his lack of being among the elites.

Yet, let any non-Raven fan dare say anything negative about him and they'll get stabbed a bunch of times in the face like the way Ray Lewis probably but we'll never really know stabbed that one guy to death.

6. Because of This Guy

5. And This Guy

(NSFW) Listen to that incessant cackling.

This is pretty much every Ravens fan in a nutshell. Shove a camera at other fans' faces after the Ravens score the one and only touchdown of the game and then spew out the most obnoxious laughter they can muster from within their brat-filled guts. It's a wonder none of these Browns fans kicked this guy right in his purple camo pants.

4. And This Guy

He's a father.

3. No, Really. They Go OUT OF THEIR WAY to Support Ray Rice
2. Yeah...


1. Did We Mention They Can't Stop Defending a Known Wife-Beater? Standing ovation? Of course.

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