It's a classic example of the bait and switch. During one of my recent late night television binges, I found myself drawn to a commercial that seemed to repeat during every break. It was for some kind of cheesy, bacony, Texas toasty burger at Checkers. Despite seeing the commercial at least a dozen times, I couldn't remember exactly what it was called, only that it looked delicious and I could get two of them for four dollars. Never one to pass on a deal that involves liquid cheese smothering bacon, I made it a point to visit my local Checkers for lunch.
Unfortunately, the Checkers on Federal in Dania Beach did not have the sandwich I'd seen advertised quite yet. They told me they recently started carrying wings, which I took mental note of, but the commercial burger was still just a pipe dream as far as I was concerned. They did, however, have something similar in the Bacon Melt: two beef patties, smothered in cheese sauce, onions, pickles, and bacon then stuffed between two slices of Texas Toast. That'll work.
The first thing I notice about the bacon melt is the size. Despite the
staggering amount of artery clogging ingredients, the sandwich seems
skimpy. It's not bigger than most of the items available on fast-food
dollar menus throughout the nation. I suppose that's why they advertise
them as two for five dollars rather than as individual sandwiches.
The slices of Texas toast aren't as thick as I'd expected they would
be. It may be my own misgivings, but when I think of Texas toast, I
think of inch and a half to two inch thick slices of bread coated in
butter and toasted to a crisp. These slices were no thicker than
Wonderbread and devoid of any kind of crunch. In fact, they were wet
I sink my teeth into the sandwich and involuntarily (and
embarrassingly) moan with delight. Sure I would have liked a more
substantial burger in my hands and the bread could be crunchier, but
the final product is nothing short of delicious.
The cheese, which is clearly Cheeze Whiz (or some facsimile) thus my
favorite foodstuff on the planet, soaks into the bread and binds it to
the bacon and beef patties. The bacon is crunch, something I'm not sure
I've ever experienced at a fast food joint, the fried onion slices are
thick enough to provide a crunch, and the meat patties are juicy and
peppery. The only thing I can complain about when it comes to the taste
of the burger is the mayonnaise. I'm not a fan of mayo on burgers most
of the time, and I'm never a fan of it being layered on like Spackle.
After I've finished the burger I realize that the Bacon Melt is
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deceptively filling and forgo ordering a second. My aching arteries