4

Taco Bell's Half Pound Burritos will fill you up alright...

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

It's official, there is some truth in advertising. Taco Bell's half pound burritos will indeed fill you up. But it's not a pleasant "I won't have to eat for at least six hours" feeling of satisfaction. No, it's more of "I can't be further than 50 feet from a bathroom for at least 12 hours" type feeling. At least the advertisements are very honest, warning that even a former heavyweight boxing champion's stomach, which is used to being pummeled with uppercuts from the likes of Mike Tyson, couldn't possibly accommodate more than one half pound of what Taco Bell is offering.

I decided to go with the Nacho Crunch variety which is advertised as "A warm flour tortilla loaded with a double portion of seasoned ground beef and filled with warm nacho cheese sauce, juicy tomatoes, reduced fat sour cream and crunchy red tortilla strips." For a burrito that weighs in at half a pound, it sure seems tiny. In fact, I remember getting quite a few bean burritos from the same restaurant which seemed heftier than this one.


I made the terrible mistake of opening the burrito for the sake of the

picture above. Again, it's a burrito, so the inside isn't exactly

supposed to look like a Rembrant painting. Instead, it looks like

something Jean Michelle Basquiat threw together after an all night

bender. The unnaturally bright orange of the "warm nacho cheese" frames

the slop of beef, sour cream, tomatoes, and tiny strips of hard corn

tortillas. I snap the picture and try to put the burrito back together,

but end up with a misshapen mess of oozey cheese and runny beef.
I

sink my teeth into the burrito and I'm confronted with a familiar

sensation. The beef at Taco Bell always seems to have a grittyness to

it, like someone poured a teaspoon of sand into the meat bucket before

spooning it onto the tortilla. This sensation mixed with the weak

crunch of the tortilla strips, which are now soaked with sour cream and

cheese sauce, provides an interesting counterpart to the crunchy

squares of tomato scattered throughout. If you've ever had anything at

Taco Bell, you know exactly what this tastes like. It's beef, cheese,

sour cream, and tomatoes heaped into a tortilla. The cheese sauce

pretty much takes over every other flavor.

After finishing the

burrito, I definitely feel like I could eat more, but my stomach

doesn't agree. Instead, it's in a kind of shut down/haz-mat mode,

proving the advertisements right, just for the wrong reasons.


Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.