Photos: International Noise Conference is Like the Golden Globes of Noise Music

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Kyle Munzenrieder
​The International Noise Conference, organized yearly by Miami's resident sonic-fucking legend Rat Basterd, is secretly the best music conference the city has to offer. It's spun off international tours, and events across the globe, but the center piece will always be the Miami original.

Featuring over 100 performers delivering 15 minute sets over three nights, it only has three rules: 1. No laptops 2. No droning 3. No mixing boards.

Other than that performers are free to create any ear drum shattering misadventure they wish, some leaning more heavy on the noise, some that vaguely resemble actual music.

We dropped in during the middle of Saturday night's sets. There was a set dedicated to the joint memory of Alexander McQueen and Patrick Swayze. There was a guy who free-rapped over a fucked-up version of Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do." There was a lady who gave up on getting her equipment to work, and spent most of the set talking about Chinese students in her PhD classes and a girl who wanted to get pregnant at Starbucks.

It truly is the Golden Globes of noise music. We have no idea what that means, but it sounds right. It isn't one of those shows you can really write a traditional review of, so instead we'll just show you some pictures we took.

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International Noise Conference is like the Whitney Biennial of noise music.

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International Noise Conference is like the NBA All-Star Weekend of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Def Poetry Jam of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Disney Channel Games of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Lilith Fair of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Top Chef Master of noise music.

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International Noise Conference is like the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Dinner of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Battle of The Network Allstars of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the trying to get your consumer grade digital camera to take decent live music photos of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Million Man March of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the Now! That's What I Call Noise Music of noise music.

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​International Noise Conference is like the same stupid blog gimmick you should stop using, but won't because you've committed to the idea of noise music.

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Kyle Munzenrieder