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Five Reasons Why Your Sushi Chef Hates You

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You only patronize the one sushi joint that you heard has the freshest fish. You sit at the bar and annoy watch the chefs while they work. You bust out your little chopsticks and mix wasabi into your soy sauce with a practiced arrogance while boring regaling your friends with tales of that one time you ate rare whale sashimi in Tokyo. 

Oh, the sushi chefs know you. They sharpen their

knives every time they see you approach. When you sit at the bar to watch them work and greet them with a "Konichiwa!" they give you a "friendly" nod. Next time, you might want to skip eating that "roe" that they reserve for their "special" customers. In fact, get something with tempura, to be on the safe side!  Bwah hahaha!

Straight outta the mouth of a longtime Broward-based sushi chef Takeshi Kamioka... Five Reasons Why Your Sushi Chef Hates You:

1) You think you're hot shit.
People will come in and say, "I'm from California and New York," thinking they eat a higher level of sushi. I'm like, what do you want from me? "How was your flight?"

2) You show off how much wasabi you can eat.
You'll have these assholes sit at the bar and have a wasabi-eating contest. They rave like they love it hot, but they're really dying.

3) Your Japanese sucks.
People come in and order in Japanese and get it wrong. They'll try to say [the Japanese word for rolled sushi] nigiri. But my waiters won't understand, because they're saying it wrong, and they'll bring them sake or something. Some people order in Japanese, and when we don't understand them, they [even act superior] like, "Oh you don't know what that is."

4) You actually prefer frozen fish.
Around here, a lot of people use frozen tuna. Toward the wintertime, we use a rich-colored tuna with a nice oil content. As a duty as a sushi chef, you're supposed to give the finest cuts to your customer. But then people are so used to the frozen sushi, they think it's bad, return it, and it goes to waste.

5) You're American.

Customers will come in and say to the staff "Hey, you're not Japanese." Neither are you.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.