Rants

The Ten Worst Food Tattoos... Ever

The 16th-annual South Florida Tattoo Expo takes over the Marriott Coral Springs Hotel and Convention Center this weekend, filling the center with a cornucopia of talented ink artists and painted ladies and gentlemen.

Tattoos are a thing of beauty. Dating back to the beginnings of mankind, they forever mark the recipient with meaningful messages of loss, hope, and heritage... usually. 



Then again, there are tattoos that become permanent reminders of what a douchebag you are when you're either drunk, on vacation, or taking a dare. 

With that in mind, we present a collection of the ten worst food-related tattoos... ever.


10. Here's the thing... if you're old enough to get a tattoo, then you're too old for Hello Kitty. What's next -- a Smurf cooking?



9. Ummm... yeah... there's that too. We're hoping Papa Smurf's cooking up something tasty.8. Hey, we love bacon too. But we've got limits. For one, we don't tattoo that pronouncement on our bodies. Secondly, unlike pigs, we wash our little hooves every now and again.


7. The Taco Bells were in a perpetual turf war with their rival gang, the Burger Kings....



6. We never knew bacon and pickle were buddies. Nor did we care. We still don't.



5. Matching tattoos are a notoriously bad idea. Especially when they involve breakfast.




4. A McDonald's tramp stamp. We have no words.




3. We guess northern New York state is pretty far from heaven.


2.  And this is your brain on drugs.


1. Assburger. Home of the assburger. Coming to a food court near you.


Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss