Rap music and pornography go together like love and marriage, which, in turn, go together like a horse and carriage.
Try playing 90 percent of hip-hop for your parents and, almost immediately, the genre's persistent obsession with the world of quiver-inducing carnal delights will either gravely offend them or make them blush. Play it for your grandparents and it will fucking kill them.
Rappers sing so much about sex (oral, anal, vaginal, group, expensive, etc.) that you would think the industry uses the BBC section of porn tubes to search for talent. But in actuality, it's usually MCs turning into adult actors rather than the other way around. Here are County Grind's Top Ten rap celebs moonlighting as smut stars.
MC: Ray J
Raunch Rank: #10
Smut Sample: "Sexy Can I," "Turnin' Me On,"
Pornographic Filmography: Kim Kardashian: Superstar
Brandy's lil' bro's entire career -- all 15 minutes of it -- was the product of his sex tape with Kim Kardashian. His lone hit "Sexy Can I" is a hip-hop soul party jam about, uh, sex tapes.
MC: Lil' Jon
Raunch Rank: #9
Smut Sample: "Culo," "Get In, Get Out," "Friends and Lovers"
Pornographic Filmography: Club Lil' Jon (2011), Phat Tuesday (2004) (unauthorized)
Lucky for the eardrums of perverts worldwide, Lil' Jon prefers the director's chair to an actor's trailer when it comes to pornography. The perpetually screaming rapper was also featured in a Hustler-produced porno in which a bevy of adult entertainers intermittently fuck and attend a Lil' Jon concert.
MC: Kool Keith
Raunch Rank: #8
Smut Sample: "Sex Style," "Break U Off"
Pornographic Filmography: Sex for Life Too (1999)
Some rappers obsess over cars. Others jewelry. But Kool Keith is obsessed with peep shows, nudie booths, glory holes, back-alley BJs, secret underground orgies, woods porn, and the list goes on.
MC: Too $hort
Raunch Rank: #7
Smut Sample: "Can I Get a Bitch," "Blowjob Betty," "U Stank"
Pornographic Filmography: Get In Where You Fit In (2003)
MC: 50 Cent & G-Unit
Raunch Rank: #6
Smut Sample: "P.I.M.P." "Dick'll Do," "Surrounded By Hoes"
Pornographic Filmography: Groupie Love (2004)
Shouldn't this adult film be titled Band-Aid Love?
MC: Coolio
Raunch Rank: #5
Smut Sample:"I Like Girls"
Pornographic Filmography: Coolio and the Gang Bang (2007)
Coolio clocks in at the halfway point, but his featured fornication does get special recognition for having the most hilarious name. On this list.
MC: Kanye West
Raunch Rank: #4
Smut Sample: "That's My Bitch"
Pornographic Filmography: Kanye West is the Mel Blanc of sex tapes. If this guy isn't filming mad erotic tantra fuck fests, he's tweeting and/or rapping about the one Kim Kardashian, his girlfriend -- excuse us, his "Perfect Bitch" -- filmed with, uh, Ray J. And don't forget about the bisexual porno allegations of 2009.
MC: Snoop Dogg Lion
Raunch Rank: #3
Smut Sample: "Sexual Eruption," "Groupie"
Pornographic Filmography: Doggystyle (2001)
Know that the ex-Dee Oh Double G has converted to Rastafarianism, should we expect a Dub remix of Doggystyle? The question applies to both the album and the porno music video compilation.
MC: Uncle Luke
Raunch Rating: #2
Pornographic Filmography: Uncle Luke's DVD series
Smut Sample: Bro, it's Uncle Luke. The man's entire career was built upon asses wigglin' and titties jigglin'.
MC: Tupac Shakur
Raunch Rating: #1
Smut Sample: "I Get Around"
Pornographic Filmography: Sex tape released out of nowhere last year
We'll leave you with one final question: What is the connection between the Tupac Sex Tape Scandal of 2011 and the debut of Machiavelli's hologram at Coachella 2012?
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