Whether it be spoiling a film to a friend ("Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time! Oh, you didn't see..."), bringing a fussy baby to any public place ever, or using the term "bro" or "dude" as punctuation at the end of your sentences, all of these actions deserve the response of three words: You're an asshole.
We could quote Dennis Leary and list off the many a-hole actions people make in life, but instead of quoting that asshole, we're making a list of our own. At our recent visit to Lollapalooza, it became clear what it means to suck at a show. Though we had a wonderful time, there were certainly a few people out to ruin our fun. Here, we document the five grandest annoying gestures we spotted this past weekend in Chicago. These activities make you a total jerk, and not just at Lolla, but at all festivals. Try to avoid them at all costs.
Side note: Calling people assholes makes you an asshole. We get that.
5. Snaking through crowd to get to the front row
We aren't living in a pixelated Nokia phone circa 2000 (Snake reference!), nor are we preschoolers who must hold hands when taking a trip to the bathroom. So, cut the shit. Nobody likes the chain gang of pushies who decide to be late to a show and still expect to get front row standing. Get to your acts on time, and if you didn't make it to the front of the stage or plan out your day accordingly. Let others relish in your tardiness. Get to the back of the line.