Ah, March. A month saturated with the putrid stench of sweaty Spring Breakers.
As we look down from our high-rise beach apartments to the bumper-to-bumper A1A traffic, we realize our daily errands are now a cumbersome task. Our white-sand beaches are now covered with empty beer bottles, piles of vomit, and college kids passed out on beach towels.
Sure, Spring Break brings tourism money to the area -- but dammit, sometimes we just need to get away!
10 Places where it's highly unlikely to run into a Spring Breaker:
The Pirate Republic Seafood Grill & Bar
- 400 SW Third Ave. Fort Lauderdale
Neighbor to the Broward County Jail, at Pirate Republic the New River acts like a moat keeping breakers at a safe distance across the waterway. Go on a Sunday and enjoy the Caribbean Poolside all-you-can-eat BBQ ($20) with live music.
Southport Raw Bar - 1536 Cordova Road, Fort Lauderdale
This waterfront seafood spot has been a long-time Fort Lauderdale staple. Nestled off the beaten path on Cordova Road, Spring Breakers will likely whizz right by it on their way to the beach. Go during the daily Happy Hour offering food, beer and wine specials.
Bimini Bay Bar - 412 SE 32 St., Fort Lauderdale
No, not Bimini Boatyard, Bimini Bay Bar -- there's quite a difference between the two. Differences worth mention: Bimini Bay shows porn, beers are cheap, and they're aren't any windows. No Spring Breakers will find you here, that is if you can find it yourself.
Freddie's Anchor Sports Grill - 2312 SW Fourth Ave., Fort Lauderdale
What better place to escape than a dive between a graveyard and a gas station? Shoot some pool, guzzle an ice-cold beer, enjoy some tasty bar food and enjoy the paucity of tourists.
Laser Wolf - 901 Progresso Drive, Ste. 101, Fort Lauderdale
The new "coolest bar in Fort Lauderdale" should still be safe from the pillage of Spring Breakers at this hipster haunt. It serves up microbrews and a few inexpensive domestics while a local DJ spins and regulars enjoy a smoke on the beautifully landscaped patio. Be sure to check out the wolf painted in the restroom with a piercing laser gaze.
Kim's Alley Bar - 1920 E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale
Predominately locals hang out at this 60-year-old plus neighborhood watering hole. Comfortably tucked in the Gateway Shopping Plaza, you will find Ft. Lauderdalians enjoying a cheap libation while shooting pool or selecting a diddy on the jukebox.
Grady's Bar - 905 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale
If there is one establishment that will keep tourists at bay, it's the likes of Grady's. Known for tasty chili, cheap beer, and a colorful crowd.
The Village Well - 1023 SE 17th St. Causeway, Fort Lauderdale
Dangerously close to the often tourist-laden Waxy O'Conner's, this bar has surprisingly remained relatively hidden. Get there at 11am to kick off the "all day happy hour" and don't forget to bring your laptop to get some work done, there's free Wi-Fi!
- 1021 Seminole Drive Fort Lauderdale
Open at 7am, the Hut Lounge located just North of the Galleria Mall, will keep you safe from tourists even at the butt crack of dawn. Where else can you throw some darts and play some video games before the start of the business day?
Wayward Sailor - 3045 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale
Locals with an affinity to Pittsburgh especially heart this pub located in the same plaza as the Culture Room off Oakland Park Blvd and US1. Regular patrons swear by the grub -- think chicken pot pie, wings, and sandwiches. Enjoy the daily Happy Hour 3-7pm.
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