| Rants |

Ron Jeremy Rum Owner Explains Product: "Captain Morgan has one leg, Ron de Jeremy has Three"

Jatinder Channa
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Want Rum De Jeremy to penetrate your local liquor market? Let the staff at One Eyed Spirits know at


"It all started as a joke," said Jouko Laune and Olli

Hietalahti, friends and owners of One Eyed Spirits. Both Laune and Hietalaht,

Finland natives, were in the ad business before leaving the industry to

start a rum company with The Guinness Book of World Records holder for


most appearances in adult films.

"Ron actually means rum in

Spanish," they told me smiling, as customers sampled shots poured by a

big-breasted blonde in a skin-tight dress. "It made sense to go with


Admittedly, I was hesitant to try any liquid branding the name of

someone who ejaculates for a living. And the promotional flier, "Meet

the legend. Taste his rum," didn't help to ease my concern of what

exactly his rum was. But after some coercion, I tried

the smooth, Panamanian spirit. Aged for seven years, it has

a surprisingly good amount of spice and flavor for something sporting the face of a

man who's starred in films like, "Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio" and "Generally Horny Hospital." It wasn't all that bad.

Jatinder Channa

The spiced rum, in a longer, slimmer bottle, isn't yet available in the

country, but it should be in stores with the aged rum in the coming weeks.

"People are really enjoying the spiced version," said Hietalahti. And when

asked why I should switch to theirs over my normal choice, Captain

Morgan, Laune reminded me, "Captain Morgan has one leg, Ron de Jeremy

has three."

Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

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