Witches' Boogers, Werewolf Hairballs and More: Six Scary Foods to Freak Out Your Trick-Or-Treaters
Let's face it, most of our food fun is for adults only, but when Halloween rolls around, we all get to act like kids for a change -- even if some older trick-or-treaters take dressing up a little too far.
Or course, there's no harm in staying in and letting the trick-or-treaters that come to your door be your main source of entertainment for the evening. So, this one is for the kids -- even though we're pretty sure they'll work on your "adult" friends, too. All you need is a little suspense and imagination. A really dark doorstep or room wouldn't hurt, either.
Here, our list of the six scariest ways to freak out your Halloween party attendees and trick-or-treaters with food. Simply ask the "victim" to roll up their sleeves, close their eyes, and use a little imagination to enjoy this festively-prepared fare:
1. Fresh-Plucked Eyeballs
There's nothing creepier than sticking your hand in something and feeling a slimy, gooey mess you weren't expecting -- and then being told it's human eyeballs. All you'll need is a bag of fresh (firm) red grapes. Simply wash them, and then gently peel the skin off. Take the peeled grapes and stick them in a bag or bucket with a lid just big enough for a hand. Add a little olive oil and water -- and there you have it: fresh-plucked human eyeballs. When trick-or-treaters are asked to stick their hand in (no peeking) and guess what's in the bag, you can tell them they were taken from all the naughty children who forgot to say "thank you" for their treats.
2. Witches' Boogers
Here's an easy one. OK, maybe too easy -- but, really, who doesn't know a kid or two that isn't always eating these (the real kind, that is) anyways? As much as it grosses us out to watch babies and toddlers eat their own boogers -- and that guy in the car next to you when you're stopped in morning traffic -- this is a great way to let everyone indulge without the ick-factor. How? Witches' boogers, or every lime-green colored jelly bean you can get your hands on. Jelly Belly makes a sour apple flavor that's perfect. Just fill a large glass bowl with them, maybe sprinkle a little salted water over them, and you've got a whole bowl of boogers!
3. Vampire Punch
It's amazing how much warm corn syrup can resemble fresh blood when mixed with a few drops of red food dye. Simply heat it up over low heat (don't burn it or heat it too much), and put in a glass pitcher with a serving spoon. When everyone asks what it is, you can tell them it's fresh blood for the vampires that are stopping by for a party -- then drink some yourself and show them the fresh "bite" marks from your [friend's, sister's, husband's] neck.
4. Fresh-Peeled Human Skin (or brains)
Blanched green cabbage leaves left in boiling water, and given a dash of red food coloring-tinged olive oil for that extra rubbery sheen, can have an uncanny resemblance to what you'd imagine pieces of human skin to look like (removed, of course). Toss them around for some extra-slimy fun, or hang them from your trick-or-treat pale of goodies. When kids ask what it is, you can tell them it's the skin from the old lady you dug up from the cemetery. Creepy!
If cooking cabbage isn't your think, then try taking some fresh-cooked spaghetti with a nice coating of red sauce. Put it in a cereal bowl lined with non-stick plastic wrap and freeze into a "brain" shape. Place strategically and let it freak out your trick-or-treaters.
5. MmmMmm-Good Maggots
Ever leave the garbage out a little longer than necessary and open the lid to your garbage pail just long enough to catch these wriggling white fly larvae flipping around your 5-day old pizza? Gross -- we know -- and that's exactly what makes this trick-or-treat trick so much fun. To help you convince your friends and visitors this is more than just last night's Chinese food, simply add some warm water to a bucket of still-warm, freshly-cooked white rice. Next, drop in a few wind-up or battery operated moveable toys to make it look like a real, writhing mass of maggots, and you've got another gross treat to gross-out all those trick-or-treaters. To make this trick even better, fill the inside of a cupcake with them for an unexpected "treat," or put some of your best treats over the bucket of maggots so when greedy kids dig in for an extra hand-full, they're surprised by a hand full of maggots, as well.
6. Werewolf Hairballs
This one is only good if you have a captive audience -- but we're sure you can think up something equally spur of the moment, like tossing it in the air and catching it in your mouth after opening the door for trick-or-treaters? All you'll need are a few avocados and a bunch of sprouts (alfalfa will work, but any kind will do). Mash together and blend in a food processor or pulse in a blender for a few seconds and the resulting mess looks a lot like -- well, a hairball. Imagine your kids' horror when you tell them what it is, and then pop it in your mouth. Just the thought of the real thing is enough to make us want to cough something up ourselves.
(If you have a masticating juicer and wheat grass, you know the end result of juicing is never pretty. That rat-tail mess is perfect for this, as well. Just don't stick it in your blender! It's already a hairball...)
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