Anthony Bourdain is a Cartoon in an Alternate Universe

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In the past few weeks, Anthony Bourdain has said some nasty things about some celebrity chefs.

We're sure that these chefs would secretly love to see Anthony Bourdain being chased by vampires, getting beatdowns by  the police, and being mauled by monkeys while he's eating pho somewhere in southeast Asia.

Well, Anthony Bourdain beat them on that too. We dug up the Alternate Universe web cartoons for your enjoyment. In them, Bourdain is doing to himself what every celebrity

chef would like to do to him!

We're giving you a double dose of Alternate Universe.

The first is a sneak peek of episodes to come. The second, Robo Chef,

has Bourdain as a mad scientist showing little Timmy how to save money on television production - make a Robo Chef to replace the

high maintenance, high ticket humans currently on Cooking Channel using

Mario Batali's legs, combat testicles, Manson Family eyeballs and...the

brains of one perky television food gal.

Here's the Sneak Peek:

Here's the first episode:

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on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

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